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It's 9: 00 am in the morning. I've only been up for an hour, one hour! and I'm already tired. I'm sure that it's menopause. Yes I'm blaming it on menopause.
I used to have so much energy and then I got old, well not really old, I'm only 50. I did hit menopause early, around 45 and it just seemed to zap all the radiating abilities from my body. I'm befuddled, muddled, confused, testy, weepy, hot, cold, loving, screeching like a fishwife. It's like being pregnant all over again.
I always figured that menopause would be one of those moments where you run up the hill, two fisted in Rocky fashion over your head winning the race. Eye of the tiger and all is well with my world. Unfortunately, I am more like Mr. Magoo, stumbling over rocks, not able to see where I'm going. I'm lucky if I get to the top. Honestly!
You would be surprised at how many articles there are about how not to be tired at 50, what foods to eat for energy, what exercises to do. Even types of sex to have in your relationship, possibly without the relationship. Really? Just reading every column makes me tired.
The truth is..., menopause is just tiring. It sucks an ungodly amount of energy from your body.
I thought raising children, having children, carrying children, bearing children, made me tired. I was WRONG and what's worse is I feel guilty. It's not like I work in construction or teach dance:) I could easily take a nap every single day.
I do have an appointment with my doctor about this ability I've developed to sleep 16 hours a day. She's wonderful but very laissez faire. She will doubtlessly tell me that, "yes, it is menopause. Shall we try hormones again?"
Over my dead body. We tried hormones once. I didn't take to them. In fact, I started my period. Well...., that's nice. Menopause feelings with a menstruation cycle. We had to put the knives away.
What I really need is speed. I'll look my doctor straight in the eye and beg for speed. I'm not sure it's good form to ask for speed but I'm going to try. At this point, what can I lose? I need to start finishing projects. I need to at least get something done besides sleeping..., which I want to do right now.
I can't go back to sleep. Steve Kornacki is on and the Melissa Harris Perry show is on right afterwards. I have to stay awake long enough to watch both shows or my little progressive heart won't be the same. Just a couple cups of coffee with caffeine shots and I'll will be ready to go....
Meanwhile, while I'm still awake, I'll write my Play, Purpose and Crap.
This is a video Emma shot of Maggie and McKenna. Maggie is her horse - white. McKenna is mine - she is the dominant and will prance around and keep Maggie protected from the other horses in the pasture.
Quote: "Reading is everything. Reading makes me feel like I've accomplished something, learned something, become a better person. Reading makes me smarter. Reading gives me something to talk about later on. Reading is the unbelievably healthy way my attention deficit disorder medicates itself. Reading is escape, and the opposite of escape; it's a way to make contact with reality after a day of making things up, and it's a way of making contact with someone else's imagination after a day that's all too real. Reading is grist. Reading is bliss."
—Nora Ephron
Works of genius:
Have a happy week. Our weather looks to be nice and cool this week with some rain. The best kind. I wish the best kind for you.
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