Emma just brought home a large, electronic, pony.  She found it put out at the curb in front of one of our neighbors yards.  It has no ears.  The tail is missing and of course it has no batteries.  But Emma is determined to fix it and get it working.

Emma, who has a real horse she can ride, several in fact.

Even Rue can't handle another person, stuffed or not.

Emma, who owns five guinea pigs taking up over one third of my office because guinea pigs need lots of room to run around and I mean lots of room.  If you're a true cavie lover/owner, you would have the appropriate cages for your pets.  Cages 6' by 8'.  Two of them.  Connected to one another by a bridge so the little darlings can run back and forth biting each other.  Because god forbid they would all get along.  They are snippy and snotty and they devour enough romaine lettuce on a weekly basis to give me incentive to invest in a romaine lettuce farm.  Have I ever told you I hate those little motherfuckers?  I do.  They were created to eat.  In some countries, they do eat them. Evidently not in the Hemingway country.

Emma, who lives in a house with 5 cats, one the anti-christ, and 3 dogs.

This particular, stuffed, electronic pony is bigger than Rue, our pit bull pony.  Rue is, literally, freaking out.  He thinks it's real.  Very strange since he's never actually seen a real horse so I'm wondering what he thinks it is.  He's barking and whining which has Beau barking and whining which has Lexie barking, (no whining - Lexie's tough) which has the cats running in all directions.  Two of them have run straight into my room, taken leaping jumps, jack-knifed onto my bed and knocked over folded laundry that I have been working on for the last 4 hours.

I give up, give up.  I'm done.  Not even watching Herman Cain or Rick Perry could get me excited at this point.  I might as well throw in the towel and call the producers of the Hoarders Show.  Maybe they can help.  Maybe they can take me away.

Do my daughters realize I have a heart condition?  I don't think they do.  Good god, I'm in full blown stress mode now.  I'm going to have stop here and take a xanax or my brain is going to explode.

Emma just brought home a large, electronic, pony.  Why?  Please tell me why!  Please?

Doesn't she realize she already has a horse? And surely she doesn't think she can fit on this one.  Or maybe she does?  In which case, we spent too much time convincing her there was a Santa Claus.

Why, oh, why

Susan - Who never ceases to ask the question.