I've noticed that the anything I am passionate about keeps me sane. That, in a nutshell, is what defines my passion. In the midst of my life, does it help me to retain some shred of sanity? Simple, easy peasy.
Yogurt. Yep, yogurt. Not big cars or even pretty cars. A car is a car is a car and though I would love to be able to drive a Ford F150 (Bluebell), I try to think green so I've never driven a big car or a gas guzzler and I hate car payments so I'll drive a car til it dies. Then I cry because I've become attached to the car. I've named him. I've given him semi-equal status among my family. I mean, my car generally resembles my daughters rooms, so I feel comfortable. I talk to him. I rub his hood. Oh, sweet, sweet Jaime.
What the hell does this have to do with yogurt? Nothing really. I just got going about my car and couldn't stop.
Together: STOP, Susan, STOP
Thanks, that helped. Back to yogurt. I don't eat it for health or weight loss. For me, those are icing on the yogurt.
I'm not sure what it is about yogurt. There are so many different flavors, so many different kinds, even different textures, it makes one dizzy. I spend most of my time in the grocery store at the dairy section, mesmerized. I stand there and let the ambiance wash over me. Salivating for the feel of smooth, tart, cold sweetness swirling around my tongue and sliding down my throat. Oh, yogurt, yogurt, I hear you calling me.
I personally like Yoplait, any kind of Yoplait. But we purchase their low fat or no fat flavors the most. Even the girls like them.
**You know, Lexie, our oldest dog, has the worst gas I have ever had the misfortune to smell. If she wasn't so old, arthritic and deaf, I'd make her move but then I think, "It'll come back to bite me on the butt because I can just imagine that's me and I'm living with my daughters. I wouldn't want that for Lexie. So, I'm kind. I see the future. It does make writing about yogurt fairly unappetizing though.**
We purchase at least 30 cartons of Yoplait a week.
Do you think that's greener than driving a Ford F-150? We do squish them to save small animals from getting stuck but that is an huge amount of plastic. I'm going to have to ponder this side of yogurt. Not giving it up, just pondering. And I know you can buy a big carton of regular yogurt and mix fruit and flavors in it. Please people, stay with me here. I'm too old for that shit. Exactly 61 days from fifty. I don't have time to mix fruit that I will need to cut up and mix in a bowl with some yogurt. Not efficient when you only have 20-30 years left. I suppose I could throw a whole apple in and call it done but then all you would have is a big, old apple covered in yogurt. How do you eat it?
See. My point has been made if there was a point except that yogurt keeps me sane. I eat it at night when everyone is asleep. I eat it in the morning with my coffee. I grab one or two when I'm on the way to the barn. I eat it when I want to slug Beerhound or smack Bonnie upside the head because she somehow locked the bathroom door without anyone in there. I eat it when I look at Oliver and wonder, "how the hell did we end up with another kitten that has to be bottle fed, peed and pooped?"
- Almost as good as a martini or xanax, almost.