I turned 50 last Saturday, June 9th! I bet you were counting down with me.  I've finally made my milestone.  I've flipped off at least 4 people so far, all drivers of course.  I'm dancing and wiggling my ass right now, not that you would know.  And don't think for one minute that I would let anyone film this.  I have the house to myself right now so only the horde of animals that live with me can actually attest to the fact that I'm making a fool of myself.  But, alas, they don't speak English, maybe Russian, but definitely not English.  I'm safe.

For Carol's sake - I'm now 9 years, 11 months and 28 days away from turning 60 at which point I will be able to yell at kids to get off my lawn.  God, life just gets better and better.

My birthday was actually a pinnacle of birthdays.  Beerhound and the girls suck at birthdays but they outdid themselves this year and Carol and Bluebell made the day extra special.

I was treated to a Salon visit to have my hair cut including being served coffee, a scalp massage, and hand massages.

I ate prime rib for dinner - RARE.  My heart swoons.  Let it moo, I don't care.  I love rare prime rib.

Followed by Bananas Foster done right.  You could actually taste the rum.  Now if they could come up with a Bananas Foster using Honey Tennessee Whiskey, well, there are no words adequate except maybe orgasm.

I went to see Snow White and The Huntsman.  If you've been reading our blog for awhile, you'll know how disdainful I am of the Twilight Series.  I won't go there except to say I enjoy reading Dr. Seuss more and he's actually a better writer.  So I wasn't quite sure if I would enjoy a movie with Kristen Stewart as a leading actress but it was really good.  And...., the huntsman was Scottish.  Be still my heart.  Some of the dwarfs were Scottish and I started lusting after them.

My car was washed, polished and detailed and a new set of seat covers, floor mats and matching steering wheel cover were added, matching the color of my bumper sticker "You can never have too many horses."

I received a straw Tony Lama hat and a replica of Voodoo Child (one of my favorite bulls) from Emma.

A handmade (by Bonnie) silk scarf.

My sister-in-law, the saint, sent me two gift cards for fandango and one gift card from amazon, along with popcorn and four huge candy bars.

A second DVR and cox cable system was added to my room.

And from me to me, my babies:

Yes, sirree, it was a fabulous day.

Now I'm back to figuring out how the hell I got to be fifty.  Why do I have still have children living in my house?  Why haven't these damn guinea pigs died?  How did we end up with another cat? What's the meaning of life?  What am I going to do with the rest of my life?  Aren't I supposed to be done parenting right now?  Are those twitches of arthritis or just my imagination?

Well, holy horse poo, at least I'm done with menopause.