It's been a while and I do vaguely remember saying that I would post some pictures after we came back from horse hunting. Sounds funny doesn't it, "horse hunting". My friend Stewart would get a kick out that because he's a big hunter while I, on the other hand, am a huge supporter of gun control. Don't get me wrong. I have nothing against hunting, just not people hunting people.
I'm really off track here aren't I? and I have enough to say about gun control to fill this particular post but I'll let it slide for today.
We went horse hunting two weeks ago and it has taken me two weeks to recover. Where do I start? This is going to take a few posts to relate the road trip from hell and trust me I've been stuck in a truck with no air conditioning driving from Colorado to Las Vegas in August with Beerhound when I only weighed 128 pounds at 5'9". I couldn't afford to lose one more pound. I think I lost 10 pounds in sweat alone. Wonderful trip and yet we still got married. I'm not that much into signs, can you tell?
I'm going to bullet form here. That way I can come back and really make you snort coffee and thank the sky above that you are not me.
* A Ford Excursion with a rented horse trailer attached, higgledy piggledy, because of the wonderful store we rented from.
* Liz, me, Emma and in the middle, three children 5, 4, and 1. Who would alternately love you or stab you depending on their moods. Emma and I love them but seriously, think, children of the corn and they all have the biggest blue eyes you have ever seen.
*We were on the road for over 12 hours.
*Because Nuvi doesn't know her ass from a hole in the ground. I don't care how many stars she gets on Amazon. We took back-roads I didn't even know existed and drove past homes that resembled my mom's family (think deliverance) in North Carolina.
*It thundered and rained, lightening flashing everywhere.
*The kids found a huge horse trough and all three got in while I wasn't watching so they got to ride naked in their car seats. No, we forgot to bring extra clothes, so shoot us.
*Emma got car sick for the first time in her life.
*She could only get out of the car through the back window.
*She bought the kid's markers and coloring books. They decided to draw on each other, themselves and the baby.
*I left my $1400.00 camera at one of the farms where we looked at a horse that was only a third of that price. I'm still waiting for them to mail it to me. (They were really nice, so I'm not worried but still I could of kicked myself all the way home).
*I eventually was forced to pee in the horse trailer on the hay because Nuvi had taken us to the only area in the world uninhabited by humans. Does that make me a true cow woman?? The bad news, I had to pee in a horse trailer, in a horse trailer, again, in a horse trailer. The good news, I learned how to pee standing up in college (come on like none of you didn't, puleeeze). I've still got it. So I did do a fist pump when I came out of the trailer. Bad knees and all, I've still got it.
*At one point, we stopped at an overlook to see the Shenandoah valley. It was gorgeous. We all looked like white trash and I'd prove it to you if I had taken pictures but that's when I realized I left my camera at the first barn, 9 hours later so there was no turning around.
*Did Emma find a horse? Why yes she did, thank you. The next day, at a friends barn, less than 15 minutes from Liz's barn.
*Her name is Maggie Mae. Which, just for information sake, has forced me to change my Maggie to McKenna. That is fine by me since I didn't really like the name Maggie and I love Gaelic names.
By the way, I would never knowingly throw two small children and a baby in a car for a 12 hour drive. Neither would Liz. Let's just say Nuvi fucked us over. I can't be sure but I think she wants to marry Liz's husband, who is this super buff, cute, young diver. She was trying to get us lost, kidnapped and thrown into some breeding program (again, think deliverance) that can only be found in the backwoods of Virginia. Seriously. One day I'll post pictures of my mom's family and let you decide for yourselves.