This is a repost from last year only because, really has Halloween changed all that much for me. NO!!! except I now have a 21 year old who is going partying tonight (Oh joy, she can drink) and an 18 year old. Beerhound still likes to eat most of our candy. We have new next door neighbors with no children who decorated and no, we did not decorate but will be handing out candy. Liz and the kids are coming over to Trick and Treat because, well, let's face it, living on a horse farm may sound fun but horses don't give out candy although they do eat it, surprisingly enough.
**We may have found another horse we're going to buy so maybe it is like Halloween. One horse is never enough just like one Kit Kat bar or Twix, my personal favorite, is never enough. And we are not rich, just stupid!!** or maybe not because at least I'm not paying college tuition for our horses and they only live around 23 years. As far as I know, Bonnie could be here, in my house, indefinitely. I'm done with my digression***
Halloween is coming. You want to know how I know this fact? I'll tell you..., in a minute. First you must understand that I rarely go shopping. I'm not a big shopper, mall walker, or window shopper. If I need something, I go to Amazon.
* Amazon is my best friend. Everything I desire in life can be found on Amazon. And honestly, I will go absolutely orgasmic if I can use my prime membership to have it shipped. Amazon is my crack, definitely.
I don't even do the grocery shopping anymore. Beerhound does it. I haven't seen a candy bin in.., I can't even remember. The girls are 17 and 20. They haven't gone trick or treating in years. I guess we give out candy. Beerhound buys it. Somewhere around the end of October our doorbell becomes the ringing bells of Notre Dame. I hear the girls answer the door, snatches of "oh how cute" and "aren't you sweet" but I'm usually upstairs glued to the TV watching the World Championships in Bull Riding. And, as everyone knows, when the PBR is on I don't move, period. Not for bleeding, crying, zombies or death and destruction. Ironic isn't it? A deeply, devoted progressive who loves bull riding. What can I say? I'm a multi-faceted woman.
*Caveat - If you stand in front of my TV while I'm watching the PBR, I can move faster than Rue careening around the corner with my hardwood floors greased. Then there will be bleeding, crying, death and destruction. Sorry no zombies. I don't do zombies. My family does. They have a zombie plan. Yes, a 53 year old man, a 20 year old young woman and a 17 year old teenager have a plan of action in place to combat the hordes of zombies that are, without a doubt, headed our way. If you find yourselves in danger of being eaten by zombies, head on down to our house. Beerhound, Bonnie and Emma will be the go to guys for survival. Oh and my friend Stephen, Hi Stephen (hand waving crazily), he's in on the plan and he was a history teacher and is now a nurse. He will be the re-constructionist of society, not to mention, he can stitch up wounds.
So.., how do I know Halloween is coming? Because the one neighbor on our street, who has no children, has decorated her yard to look like Target Halloween Section Gone Wild. Everytime I drive by her house I'm reminded that Halloween is just around the corner. And ridicously, I'm always surprised. "Wow, Halloween is coming. Huh."
We have a neighborhood full of little kids. No one else has really decorated their yards other than a pumpkin or two. I told Beerhound I thought it was so strange that a single woman with no children decorates the outside of her house for almost every holiday. He said, "Not really, she has no kids".
You know what? I think Beerhound has struck a golden nugget of truth.