Me: Bonnie, do you have advice for me now that I'm turning 50?
(I was just kidding here. Advice from a young woman who can't find her shoes, doesn't know how to work a washing machine, still comes into my room at 11:00pm without knocking and we won't even talk about cooking. But the boy loves her, they're moving in together. She's working full time and going back to college so I guess I can't complain too much - oh, except she bought hermit crabs because evidently they make great pets. I'm not sure they even have brains and boy do they smell)
Bonnie: Let me think about that and get back to you. I've lived a long time.
Me - eyes rolling completely back into my head. Did she really think I was serious? Obviously she did. Dear God, she votes: Okay, Bon, I'll wait with bated breath.
Bonnie: Are you being sarcastic now? Because that's really rude.
Me: Who, me? Sarcastic? Bonnie, I love you. I really want your opinion (Not)
Bonnie: Okay, because you always said politeness will change the world and I'd hate to see you disregard your own moral beliefs.
What a smart ass!!!
Two days later -
Bonnie: Mommy, I have the perfect advice for you.
*First of all whenever she says Mommy, she wants something but I'll be quiet. I won't interrupt and I will allow her to spout her 20 year old advice. After all, I can always learn something new and maybe, just maybe, she said "Mommy" because she adores me and not because she needs gas money.
Me: Shoot. I'm all ears.
Bonnie: Why run when you can walk? Why walk when you can stand? Why stand when you can sit down? Why sit down when you can lie down? Why stay awake when you can sleep? That mommy is why I swam USAA for 14 years as a sport. Understand?
Me: Coming from you makes total sense. Thank you Bonnie for that small bit of wisdom. I'll always treasure it.
Bonnie: Mommy, can I have some gas money?